Are you moving through days like checkboxes on a list — eat, work, sleep, repeat — or do you wake with a sense of meaning that costs and rewards you? There’s a difference between surviving and living. Survival keeps you safe; living stretches you toward purpose.
How to tell which side you’re on
These are subtle signs. Nobody exists everything the same way every day — life has seasons — but the pattern matters.
- Signs you may be existing: persistent apathy, feeling detached from goals, holding off dreams “until later”, numbness to joy, repeating habits that don’t nourish you.
- Signs you’re living: small regular moments of engagement, curiosity, relationships that grow, setbacks used as learning opportunities, a felt sense of direction even amid uncertainty.
Why we drift into mere existence
There are common forces at play: stress and survival pressure, cultural conditioning to prioritise productivity, fear, unresolved grief, and comfort that becomes complacency. When energy is funneled only into meeting needs (paying bills, keeping a schedule), the landscape for meaning can shrink.
Three short case studies
Case 1 — Ada (Survival season): After a job loss and a family illness, Ada’s daily life condensed to handling emergencies. Purpose felt like a luxury. For a while she existed — and that was understandable. Over time she chose one small action (30 minutes a day of reading or hobby) to reclaim a sliver of identity beyond crisis.
Case 2 — Tunde (Routine trap): Tunde climbed the ladder at work but felt a growing emptiness. His days were efficient but flat. He experimented with a weekly “no-screen evening” and reconnected with art and friendship. The small ritual nudged his life toward passion again.
Case 3 — Miriam (Intentional living): Miriam keeps a simple weekly practice: one conversation that’s not transactional (no planning, no work talk) and one small commitment to a cause she cares about. These repeatable choices give shape to a meaningful life.
Questions to help you diagnose your season
Reflection prompts (click to expand)
- On a typical day, what three things energize you? What three things drain you?
- If you had a full day with no obligations, how would you spend it?
- What small promise to yourself have you repeatedly broken?
- When did you last feel proud or truly alive? What were you doing?
Practical steps to move from existing → living
Shift is rarely dramatic. It’s built on tiny, consistent moves. Try this starter plan (30 days):
- Choose one “anchor routine”: 10 minutes of reading, walking, prayer, journaling — something to reconnect you to inner life.
- Set one creative or growth micro-goal: write 200 words/week, learn one song, sketch once a week. Keep it tiny and non-negotiable.
- Restore relational depth: schedule a weekly check-in with someone you trust — not about logistics but about feelings and hopes.
- Practice gratitude + noticing: each evening name one small thing that felt meaningful that day.
- Create a “no autopilot” hour: pick one hour per week where you’ll do something unfamiliar — visit a new place, try a new recipe, start a short course.
What to do when fear holds you back
Fear of failure, loss, or shame often keeps people in safe, existing patterns. Combat fear with two lifelines:
- Micro-experimentation: small bets that protect your sanity while testing the world (no big leaps without practice).
- Accountability & kindness: tell one supportive person your small goal, and allow them to check in — but pair that with gentle self-forgiveness when you slip.
Quick scripts to begin
“I want to try something small for 30 days — would you check in with me next week?”
“Today I will take 20 minutes just for ___ (walk, write, call, pray). It’s not negotiable.”
When existing is okay — and when it's not
Seasons of survival are real and often necessary. If you’re in an emergency season, exist intentionally — focus on rest and healing without guilt. The problem is when existing becomes permanent by default. If months or years pass and you feel hollow, it’s time for a small, intentional pivot.
Resources & further reading
Related posts and resources at Edwin Ogie Library: Home • Mental Wellness • Forgiveness vs Reconciliation
30-day starter checklist (copy & use)
- Day 1 — pick anchor routine (10 minutes/day)
- Day 3 — set micro-goal (200 words/week or 1 small skill)
- Day 7 — schedule weekly non-transactional talk
- Weekly — one “no autopilot” hour
- Day 30 — review and celebrate small wins
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